16B Series Final vs. Como-Jannali

Last Updated (Thursday, 18 March 2010 15:26) Written by Norman Bates Monday, 15 March 2010 16:30

Result: Lost on 1^st Innings. St Pats 75 ~ Como 108

Well dear readers, the season has come and gone and as the salvage crews sift through the smoking wreckage of The Express that is scattered across what seems to be an eternity of time and distance, the calls for a full Senate Enquiry have started. Independent Senator Nick Xenophon is expected to make a speech detailing the need for the enquiry. “What went wrong?” he has been asking ever since the result was announced. Even Pup who was in Australia to watch hidden in the southern tree line and who had gone to extreme lengths in dicing Lara as a cover-up so as not to draw attention to himself and diminish the import of the Express in its own right was stunned. So much so that many in NZ are questioning his ability to put the events of the last 72 hours behind him when he lines up for the first test in Wellington. That most famous cricket-tragic incapable of catching anything but a cold was simply blown away. From his lofty position at the Chairman of the ICC, he felt giddy and nearly fell over as he was once inclined to do at times. His special Saint Patrick's Sports Jacket, replete with air-bags; saved his fall.

One theory gaining momentum is that the name itself was the harbinger of destruction. “Von Ryan's Express”, while only a movie based very loosely on the fact that WWII did take place, ended in disaster for Von Ryan. (Spoiler Alert...please jump ahead if you plan to watch the movie in the future) Our hero, played by 'ol blue-eyes Sinatra was shot only inches from the safety of the guard's car on the Express. With The Express, it was more a total derailment by the passengers themselves. It would have been akin to the crew throwing grenades on the tracks ahead of the locomotive and then hoping that the loco would jump the gap safely. It seemed to do so at times. With 6 catches dropped in the innings, some “pearls” were taken, The Express gave Como every chance to compile a defensible score and still managed to restrict them to 108. Five catches were held, four bowled and one LBW indicates the way The Express stuck to its task in the field. Again, a familiar tone. Dropping catches can generally ruin a person's day – generally speaking of course. But for the team to stick with it, stay on target and bounce back from 4 dropped within the first 4 overs is remarkable. Thus Como recorded their lowest score of the season.

Ladies performed one of his better displays taking five wickets in the final. Only one was aided with Brad taking a screamer to his left at ankle height. The rest were of Ladies own doing with the furniture being rattled three times and a C&B effort. Again, the ball would have hit Ladies so self-preservation might have been the motivator! Seriously, a fine display of pace bowling. Sergeant Schulz - aka Anthony – chimed in with two critical wickets including a C&B as well. Sergeant's extra pace that has developed along with improved accuracy was a telling part in his role in undermining the key batsmen in Como's line-up. Doug collected one along the way with a catch to the safe hands of B2 where as other chances and half chances found Earth a little too soon. “The Post”, or is he “Party”. Or is he “The Joker” or is he something else that we have all missed....Liam bowled a very tidy spell an ruined a developing partnership knocking over the furniture with a very nice swinging delivery. Von Ryan snared a wicket with his clean tight and well flighted bowling. Good captaincy and field placement saw his wicket come after the batsman signalled his intentions to go over the top and B2 positioned just nicely, stood for what seemed a very long time as the very next delivery was smashed his way. ONCE more!! Yes, byes were a meagre four!! Hans did another top job behind the stumps. Sadly though, extras contributed 26 to the Como tally – a total that is simply far too high. Wides were 18 equating to three extra overs. Sadly, not all were through movement of the ball but rather, poor direction. But that is the pressure and fun of finals so we cannot be overly harsh. We might keep that for commentary on the batting. So, with that in mind, content warning. Harshness awaits..............

With instructions to have all wickets in tact within 10 or 12 overs, both openers when out to keep the score ticking over and keep Como wicketless. This was done by Brad and Hans marvellously. Both young men played as directed and had St Pat's looking stable and in control. Even a Como supporter came and said St Pat's were on the way to victory. But not so quickly. St Pat's have a penchant for suicide when batting. Peanuts for brains it would seem at times. Perhaps that is why The Express might be called Peanut Brittle next year? Too subtle? Don't worry, for those that have trouble understanding these raves, there is an easy reading version at the end. With Hans being adjudicated LBW on his thigh guard (theory has it that his height worked against him and we are filing a case before the Human Rights Commission), St Pat's felt aggrieved. Actually, Hans was excellent in the way he expressed his shock with total clarity and without “overly” questioning the Umpire's decision. Rattler would have been proud of such finesse in showing...well....displeasure shall we say? B1 cruised to the pitch and very quickly, it seemed that St Pat's was about to set sail for the promised land. Brad was caught after being stuck in two minds which was a shame. His form has been improving throughout the year and luck was not with him – Como spilt only once chance. B2 arrived at the pitch and was not there very long at all. His form that was starting to show seems to have deserted him and at a most unfortunate time indeed. Von Ryan arrived and with two of our most experienced batsmen at the crease, and a long way to go; and nerves on full alert; and families leaning forward all around the ground to watch the drama unfold, B1 aimed a shot squarely at God. He missed. Como took the chance and for the first time, Team Management began to get an inkling of what it might have been like to be Captain Smith of the RMS Titanic firing flares with no ships visible on the horizon.

Mo showed that his old style of thump everything was gone and played some very handy shots around the ground. We were not dead yet. Sadly, his desire to keep the runs flowing saw him fire a tough chance that was held. More flares. The Express had now jumped some seriously big gaps in the tracks as the team members continued to dynamite their chances of victory. These jumps were taking their toll. Nerves of the waiting batsmen were raw. Talk of switching the order was around and that is something that experience can only teach is not good in high-stakes games where calmness and maturity are in demand. Ladies arrived at the crease and was into action early. Como kept the pressure on and Ladies was back in the pavilion. Doug came and left and Liam rollicked out with his bat swinging lazily at his side. A typical “She'll be apples” look on his face as he went to ruin the party for Como as he had done for Miranda. After getting under way, Liam did a “Bot” and got himself run out – again, much like the previous match but with far fewer runs. He looked good while he was there! Von Ryan felt that it was time to get the runs going and with a slash outside off stump, he joined his comrades as the Express lurched out of control and on tracks that seemed to lead to a certain doom. Christen who had been simply brilliant in the field was out there and Sergeant was with him seeking to still drag a win from the cricketing bag of chance. But with cricket being one of the cruellest mistresses you will ever meet, Christen dislodged the bails and was out. The Express had crashed. Sergeant was last seen walking through the smoking wreck...the only survivor of the adventure and to carry his bat... Others might have thrown it.

Glancing down the score sheet, the batting tallies run: 10,0,17,0,16,7,3,0,8,0,0 – Extras 11. 33 runs shorts. A few less wides and it would have been a different situation. One batsman who got past 10 and had a start to go on with it just a little longer, and it would have been a different situation. One catch held early in the innings, and it would have been a different situation. Hind-sight is a marvellous thing. Its power to reveal errors is amazing. Its power to teach is only as good as the student's willingness to observe, be honest with the observations and to accept history as revealed by hind-sight as accurate and to take action to prevent revealed errors from happening again, or to build on the positives revealed. So as is this reporter's want, we shall look ever so briefly at the errors. Put simply, batsmen played as they ought not to. Shots were played that would have been appropriate once the batsman had past 50 runs. With such a low score, that means the shots played to get players out ought never to have been seen. Why? If two got to 50, that is 100 and extras would have looked after the rest.

The positives are as always with this team very encouraging and brilliant. Dropped catches early in finals all too often destroy teams of very high calibre. Not so with the 16Bs. They stuck with it. Poor bowling can ruin a bowler's desire to even be on the pitch. Again, not so with the 16B bowling attack. Support for someone that did something rash that might see the team loose was still there. The team remained a team throughout – despite some wishing to change the order, team imperative was paramount. Overall, the main positive to come out of the loss is the likelihood of the members learning how to play hard nosed cricket in the future. They did it with Illawong. It is better to win graded (or A1) finals and play well in the future than just one flash in the pan win at 16. Our Keeper Martin did a top job with just 4 byes and that is a positive that has persisted during the season.

Keep watch as the wreckage of The Express is analysed, studied and then re-assembled for another run next year!! We all hope that you have had fun with this team and hope that the team had fun as well. The roller-coaster ride that is the Express has now terminated and you may each get out of your cars. We thank you for your patronage and look forward to seeing you when next you choose to follow cricket. So there you have it ladies and gentlemen...a long and fruitful year of the most intriguing games of all ~ cricket!

Now the simplified version. We bowled really well with Ladies leading the charge taking 5 wickets. Anthony got 2 with Ryan, Doug and Liam taking 1 each. They scored only 108 and we were a chance against the Minor Premiers. Being the under-dogs, St Pats went out to bat but it was not to be. B1 (17), Von Ryan (16), Brad (10) were the only ones to offered any resistance and we fell short scoring just 74.

The Express HQ here.......signing off ................................ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss